Dealing with the Quarterlife Crisis

Found this articular meaningful. Extract from MSN.

When high school pals Alexandra Robbins and Abby Wilner, now both 25, got together over lunch several years ago to catch up on their lives after college, they were both ready to tell some glowing stories about how well they were doing.
"At first, we both said we were having a great time," recalls Robbins, an English and American studies double major in college, now working in the Washington, D.C., bureau of the magazine The New Yorker. But before the conversation went much further, the fronts that twentysomethings often put up vanished. Both women admitted they were feeling unhappy, confused, and somewhat adrift.
"Then we started seeing that many of our friends were feeling the same way," Robbins says. "And there weren't really any resources to help us deal with what we were going through."
So Robbins and Wilner decided to create one themselves. The result, based on their own experiences and several hundred interviews with fellow twentysomethings who graduated from college in the past few years, is their book, Quarterlife Crisis: The Unique Challenges of Life in Your Twenties.
It goes without saying that when you interview more than 200 of your peers, you learn a few things you'd like to pass along to others. For Robbins and Wilner, their book and its accompanying Web site are vehicles for doing just that. They also welcomed the opportunity to offer career and personal advice here--particularly for those in the middle of a confusing, demoralizing quarterlife crisis.
Here are a few of Robbins and Wilner's recommendations:

Don't have a career plan? Don't worryYou don't need to freak out if you have no idea what you want to do with your life, stresses Wilner, a Web administrator in Washington, D.C., who majored in psychology in college. "I temped and got a taste of various fields and companies out there before I settled into my first permanent job," she says. "So don't let those external pressures get to you, don't think that all those people with plans have everything figured out, and don't think of it all as some kind of race and that other people are ahead of you. We all backtrack at some point as we make shifts in our plans. That's just the way it is."
Separate a job's meaning from its trappings"Forget about how much money a job will pay you, forget about societal prestige, and forget about what your parents and friends think about your job," says Robbins. "You have to figure out what's meaningful to you in your career, and what will warm your heart and make you want to jump out of bed each morning."
Robbins knows what she's talking about. Three weeks after she graduated from Yale University, she took the first job offer she got after being "completely seduced by the trappings. The pay was wonderful, I liked the people, I had my own office with a door, and my commute was only 15 minutes."
There was only one problem: "The work sucked," she deadpans.
She lasted for eight months but was miserable the whole time. Don't make the same mistake, she stresses.
Scared, lost, or clueless about your career? You're normalMaybe you're questioning yourself and your place in this world more than ever. Maybe you're barraging yourself with intense self-interrogation, as Robbins puts it. Maybe you're filled with anxiety and fear. And maybe you believe you're the only twentysomething who feels so confused.
You're not, Wilner emphasizes.
"One thing I honestly wish is that I had done the research for this book even earlier, because that in itself helped me tremendously," she says. "Listening to everyone's experiences, anxieties, thoughts, fears, hopes and dreams…so much like my own. Who knew?"
It took Robbins and Wilner hundreds of hours and conversations with their peers to learn that they--and their peers--were normal. You are too.
"If I had known back then what I know now, I wouldn't have beaten myself to a mental pulp so frequently," Robbins says. So neither should you.

Road to Happiness

2 of my colleagues are getting married!!! Thats so envy. One of them had a webpage full of their wedding photos and details. Seeing them glow with happiness, Im happy for them too.

I never thought wedding is a romantic event. Perhaps Im not a romantic person. Lots of my galfriends have lots of fantasy of how their wedding day or wedding gown is going to be like, but for me, wedding is a chore.

My perception of wedding changed when I worked in Riz Carlton as a banquet waitress. Having witness countless of wedding event, I began to have my own vision of how my wedding is going to be like. Thats when I understand why my galfriends have such fantasy. Those wedding dinners Ive seen are always so romantic and touching. It makes me wanna cry especially the touching scene of couples thanking their parents.

It is not an easy process to tied a knot. Relationship fails when they cannot overcome obstacle or temptation in reality. In life, relationship fails one after another, Mr or Ms right may hard to come by. No one can define how Mr/Ms right is going to be. Only you can define yourself. For some unlucky ones, the right one never come by, they can only choose the second best available. Thus, I conclude that finding the right one to settle down is like searching a tiny, un-noticable needle in the midst of the ocean (quoted from chinese idom). Thats life. It is that sweet yet bitter.

Watching couples walking down the alse hand in hand, making vow in front of all love ones, I knew for sure thats the very moment for them. Their partners may/may not be the right one, for no one is perfect, but nonetheless, its going to be the most memorable event in their life time.


As a gal, I dream of a romantic wedding held at a beach or garden with my Mr right. Will my dream come true?

Thoughts

Was watching Project Runway last night. I always love fashion, so Im trying hard not to miss a single episope especially I had night class on that day. And for some reason, yesterday's episope had leave an impact on me.

What was special about the episope was that the designers have to work in a group of 3. This is when you can see either they will work hand in hand or to kill each other. My all time favour Daniel Franco was evicted for being too 'safe'. I have to confess that hes lack of creativity but what I admire most is his attitude towards his work and the competition.

He dare to admit his mistake and he left the competition with grace and dignity. How many contestants can have such charisma??

Sometimes by looking at him, I felt that I could relate to him in certain way. Still remember when I was in Australia studying architecture, I really had a hard time pleasing my tutors. I always thought I am creative. Friends do compliment that I dare to dress differently and creatively. Perhaps the environment over there had proved me wrong.

My tutors always tell me that my design is 'safe'. Just like what the judges commented on Daniel. I couldnt say I do not have the passion to design, maybe my passion is not strong enough, maybe Im not talented, maybe, maybe..... till now, I still couldnt figure out what had gone wrong.

In the end, I chose to give up. I always tell myself the environment kills my passion. Well,thats just an excuse im giving myself just to get away with it. Deep down, I know that Im just lacking of exposure and knowledge in my field.

When I read the biography of all the contestants, I realised that not only they had the passion and skill, but one thing in common about them is that they have years of experience and exposure. With these factors, it helps to inspire their design and at the same time, it helps them to move so far.

As for Daniel, I wouldnt say he is not talented. He was away from fashion industry for 5 years just to help out in family business. I figure that may be the reason why he got kicked out so soon for not being in touch in fashion world for so long.

As for me, Im still not sure if designing is my main passion. I know where my problem lies. Not sure if I will ever wanting to continue what I used to give up. A few of my close friends told me that I will strive if I proceed to design clothes instead of building. Are they right about this? Im not sure, coz I still don't know myself.

I really regretted meeting K last night. I should have meet up with Linda instead. K and I havent met up for ages. The last time we met up was during the chinese new year. So I decided that maybe its time to catch up with each other.

Unforunately, my hp was down. Lucky I still have a cent coin left to make call to K, telling him my exact location. He made me waited for half an hour. I cant believe a guy can make a girl wait for so long. When he turn up, he seem troubled.

K : I feel so bad to leave my customer halfway.
Me : Customer? What job are you doing? I thought u r a cameraman?
K : Oh.. its some kinda job recruitment. Anyway should we go to Raffles Place to have dinner?
Me : What?!? Thought we had agreed to have dinner at City Hall. Besides, theres nothing much to eat at Raffles Place.
K : Oh come on.. Im really worry about my customer

So I gave in. So the 2 customer was on his mind all the while. I thought we are suppose to have a good time catching up with each other rather than toking about work.

He recommand that the sting ray at a particular store is fantastic. Im eager to try. When we settled down and order our dinner, his friend suddenly called saying she wanted to join in while waiting for her friend. I feel odd. Why would his friend wanted to join in just like that? I never question him. His friend, V came and she turn out to be very friendly. We chatted about our life and work. Everything goes on fine when suddenly she brought up a topic.

V : Oh.. So you used to be an insurance agent. Its a tough job and their system don't seem to work anymore. Have you heard of any MLM (Multi level marketing)

Oh no... I knew something wasnt right

Me : Ya I heard of that
V : So whats your opinion? Are your positive or negative about it?
Me : Im neutral
V : Then have you heard of SLM ( Single level marketing)
Me : No. Never

The conversation starts to revolve around this topic. Straight away, I knew the purpose of this meeting. K didnt genuine ask me out to find out more about my life but rather he had agenda in his mind. Shortly after, V left. I try to test K to see what is on his mind.

Me : So what are we going to do after the dinner?
K : I don't know. But I want to go back to my company. I don't feel at ease leaving my customer to my friend althought my friend said they are in good hands.
Me : (Disappointed)Oh... so you better go back and have a look just in case.. you know..
K : Ya. Then how about you? why don't you come to my office and have a look.
Me : (Im not that dumb to fall into your trap) No thanks besides I need to rest early.

We parted. Im feeling so shitty afterwards. I wonder if I would still wanna meet up with him again. His mind is all about his business and wanting to bring me into the business. His friend V was there for a purpose as well. The whole thing is a plot. Gosh!!

Undiscipline

Its Monday again. As usual, I couldnt wake up on time but luckily I wasnt late this morning. It seems like everyone in the office is having blues; they are all late for work. Hahaha.. typical Monday. Today will be a tiring day for me; have to attend night class tonight. I really wonder how to keep myself awake for the lesson.

I am impress by my classmates at how hardworking they are. They make me feel so guilty. Not only they have to commit to their full-time,they are full-time mothers as well. But they sill find time to do their revision. So I set aside to revise everything on Sunday. However this is what I did during the last weekends:

Friday:
Hippi... Was glad the work was over. I hang out with my colleague Ju for dinner. Planned to finish dinner before 830.. but not possible.. with all the chatting and shopping, I reach home at around 930. My boy was suppose to come to my house to deposit his newly bought 2nd hand musical keyboard and planned to have another round of dinner with him. But I waited for 45 mins before he turn up. Was pissed, so ended I didnt have dinner with him.

Saturday:
Woke up with my boy beside me. It definately brighten up my morning, esp being able to see your love ones the moment you open your eyes. Im glad that I didnt push him out of my bed. He was such a pig. Im about to finish reading the book ' The Devil Wears Prada'. So I decided to finish the whole book before waking him up.
By noon time, he is still zzzz. I woke him up and ask him to buy brunch for me. Afternoon sucks. We had no idea where to go. Instead I watch TV while he was busy exploring his new keyboard. I never know he was so interested and talented in Music. After struggling to play a few chinese song, he gave up. Then we ended up having afternoon nap together.
By the time we woke up, its late noon. I was disgusted by the way we wasted our weekend sleeping. To utilize our weekend, we got ourself prepare and head down to Orchard. My main purpose of going to Orchard is to buy books from Kinokuniya but we ended up shopping for clothes as well. By the end of the day, I got myself a book and a nice top from Mango ($$$). Gosh, I have to bring lunch to office from now on. I dun wish to overspend.

Sunday:
Suppose to study but half the day was used for watching TV. I love to sit in front of the TV on Sundays coz no one will interfer me. After which, I discipline myself to start my revision. My boy went back to camp for military exercise. Sunday isnt the same anymore without him but its a good time for me to focus on my studies. By late noon, I had a surprise. My boy appear in front of me. Didnt expect him to book out. Was thrill that I have someone to have dinner with.
By night time, its Tv time again and its also time for boy to go back to his camp. I tell myself I must continue my revision after the Tv programme. Unexpectedly, K called me right after the program ended. Thought this will be a short conversion but we ended up chatting till 11pm. Perhaps hes got lots to complain about his work. Life is really not easy as a cameraman. Feel so sorry for him sometimes.

So I only manage to finish reading one chapter of my textbook for the whole weekend. I have all the reason to feel guilty. Boy and I decided that I must really start my revision next week. Its a good way to save money too.. haha