Sucky Mood

The depressing mood is back again. I don’t know why. Felt so jaded with life and once again, I felt like leaving this place again.

Recently, I have been hearing few stories from friends. I guess, these few stories have enough impact to make me feel depress and disappointed with life. Although I should consider lucky that these mishap did not happen to me, but I cant help feeling sorry and sad for my friends. I do not think they deserve to experience all the unhappiness.

Perhaps, these stories are too overwhelming for me to handle. I became very skeptical about life. I started to have all sorts of wild imagination of what is going to happen to me or how will I react if the same situation befall upon me.

I need a break again. Feel like traveling or staying somewhere far away again, This is what I did in the past;I had escaped problems for 3 years and now I felt like doing it again. Sounds like I am a loner who always escape from problems. I guess, I am always a loner. I have no one to turn to when I need support or help.Sometimes I felt that the burden I had is too much for me. Maybe, at least for now, I can turn to my boyfriend and a couple of loyal friends. This makes me cherish them even more.

As for now, I am looking for some peace. So I really hope that I do not need to hear the same old stories from my friends.

I wish

Ok.. I know life can never be perfect. But if I have the ability to change my life I would wish for :

1. Supermodel height
2. Perfect skin
3. $$$$ in my bank account
4. tai tai life
5. splurge $$$ like no body's business
6. rich and privilege
7. rich and loving bf ( I have a loving bf but not rich, well.. no one can be perfect)
8. able to travel around the world

I know its too shallow to wish for these but I believe I will be a happier person if I have all the above. I have to face the fact that geni in the bottle never exists. Back to work again