Lost

Its been long since I last wrote on my blog. I guess this blog has been long forgotten; which can be a good thing as this can be a channel for my secret hideout.

Years passed. When I read through this blog, I realised that how much have changed but I still achieve nothing all these years. I also get to learn that the more hopeful I am, the more disappointment I will get.

I feel that I failed in my career and my relationship. As for relationship, after almost 6 years together, I longed for a happy ending but he never proposed. I seriously doubt if he is committed to me. Until today, he is still broke. Y am I dating with someone who doesnt have any idea how to manage his finance, how have no urgency to settle down with me and a slacker. Disappointed. Full of disappointment.

I don't know who I can turn to. I feel so lonely suddenly. Cried. Cried the whole day. But what can crying do? It cant help to improve the situation.

Speaking of improving situation, I thought I had tried my very best to help him in anyway. Yet, no improvement but instead, its getting worst. I'm tired. Really tired. I don't know what I should do to help him. No words can describe how tired I am. I ran out of idea of how I can help him.

Yes, I know life is about choice. I can choose to dump him. However, there's always a 'but' in life. My 'but' is.. I don't know why it is so hard to give him up. I'm confuse. I don't know what I should do. If God really exist, can he guide me?