Disappointment

Juz finish conversion with my bf not long ago... was feeling kinda down after we hang up.... once more... he had disappoint me.... never felt secure...

Perhaps I'm asking too much from him... I'm after perfection... but he is juz like any other human, full of flare. Although I understand the fact that no one is perfect, its still my nature to demand as much from him as I can, expecting him to meet up my expectation. Ok.. I know... Im not asking for a bf, Im asking for a genie who can fulfill all my wishes...

Sometimes I really wonder if I know how to love someone. I know Im not a good lover; my bf says im not romantic enough (which I disagree). Really hate myself for being so bad to him.

Still remember Janice and Ah min was telling me not to take him for granted. Immediately I knew I'm a bully in this relationship. Ever since then, I tell myself I have to be nice to him.. for he is really a wonderful bf... I dun wish to loss him... but not for tonite... I becoming a bully again... making my boy so miserable, and so do I. Regret for giving him cold shoulder.

Really love him... cant find any other guy better than him. Ah min told me something which kinda had an impact on me.." always remember for his love, not silly mistake"... Hope my boy can read this tml, to let him know how remorseful I am now... I will try my best to change for him... trying not to be a perfectionist.. as I dun wanna put any pressure on him..

Guess he must be in dreamland by now... am wondering if he dream of me... Had a bad flu juz now.. wish he get better tml.