My Final day

I have been waiting for this day for so long. I cant imagine I dutifully serving this company for one year and one month. I am so relief. I do hope I can have a brand new start at my new working environment.

Wish me luck!!

I am stupid

He says I am stupid, just because I do not know certain things. Who are born to know every single information in all aspect.

Since young, my parents told me I am stupid, pig brain. Am I really so stupid? Am I really so worthless?

That is emotional abuse. Those abusing words coming out of the mouth of your love ones hurts badly.

Do you still love me?

You promise me you want to bring comfort to my life
You promise me you will want to share my burden
You promise me you will ease my suffering
You promise me you will take care of me unconditionally

I believe you will honor your promise
I believe in you
but
You break your promise
You break my heart

I insisted you are the one, when the world do not agree on our relationship
I turn my friends away who thinks you are a bad choice
I believe you can bring me happiness,
thus
I ease your pain by supporting you financially
despite the fact that I am in deep shit
I stood by your side when the world despise you

However, I can never imagine you have denial all the good deeds I had done for you.
You claim that I am using money to thrash you,
You claim that my financial support is not a big deal.
You believe I did not spend much on you when I have been providing the capital for your food and transportation every month when you run out of cash.
You disappoint me further by surging on luxury and non-necessity items.

Am I a fool?
Am I being cheated?
Do I deserve to love someone who does not appreciate what I had done for you?

You no longer remember our anniversary
You no longer give me surprises
You no longer pamper me
You no longer share the pain with me

I am standing alone, facing the world.
I feel so lonely
The only question I want to know is; Do you still love me like you used to be?

Love Management

Falling in love can be a sweet experience, but maintaining a relationship seems like a totally different ball game.

How to define Love. Is it just a feeling? When 2 people form a relationship, is it enough just being happy being with each other? Or there are other factors like money plays a big role in managing a relationship?

I have been pondering about these questions over the weekend. Evaluating the relationship, Im sad to say I had no idea where are we heading to. 3 years of episodes, will the story leads to a happy ending?

Love is hard work. I don't know if all the efforts are worthwhile.

Can someone tell me how to deal with bitches!!!

I really hate working together with the bitches... working is like a living hell to me now... they are really damn bitches and I have no one to turn to... sighh..I really wonder how I can endure working in this bitchy company (the population of this company is made up of 90% bitch) for almost a year. Its time.. to change job.

One more week to go

My boy will be back next sat.. yupee!!! Im counting down.....

Master Aaron

I cant believe myself but I really did it. Went to visit Master Aaron. It was purely out of curiosity. I merely wanted to know my career for the coming year but perhaps I have asked too much. He had told me things which I do not wish to know..

Was quite pleased with his advise and felt more assured with myself. It is only a matter of how much I believe and was really surprise by how accurate he analysis me. I shall grade him 90% accurate...

I learn a lot about myself and what I should do to improve my well-being. Other than career, I have to take note of my health too.. and he warn me for I have the tendency to have migrane and I might be having low blood pressure. Overall.. I didn't regretted visiting him. At least I know I have to watch out for my health too.

Thoughts when my love is not around

Its been a few days since he had left for New Zealand. I can hardly sleep for the first two nights. Perhaps Im too used to his company. But now, I am back on track.

Kinda miss him yet envy him, for having the chance to go to New Zealand. I am still waiting for my turn to travel. Money is always the issue. sighhh Im a slave to money.

Anyway I will be seeing him again in approximately 2 weeks. Have a little mix feeling; I wanted to see him again so much, yet I know that I will have lesser time for my friends.

Therefore, one of the New Year Resolution is, I want to have a balance of full time work and personal life, Secondly, a balance of spending time with boyfriend and friends, Thirdly, a balance of self-improvement and idle around. Easy said than done.

fengshui for 2007

Once again.. Ive been MIA again... have been lazing around and spend my days day dreaming.. keke... seems like my life in 2007 should be a normal and peaceful one..

Have been hanging around with L quite frequently. Its always nice to hang out with old friends. Old friends are always the best. Seems like things are not going well for her and she is trying to do something to improve her luck. Well.. Im keen too.. who doesnt wish to improve one's luck. It was then I realised that she wanted to enage a fengshui master.

I decided to help her. So after checking with all my friends, finally got one lobang. However, this particular fengshui master whom is recommanded by my friend, G, doesnt seem like the kinda conventional master to me. According to G, he is specialise in fengshui, but he can offer other services like fortune telling, advise, and some other spiritual related services.

Sounds 'chim' to me.. not sure if this master can help me in anyway. So my friend G asked me what areas am I looking at, I just simply reply'Fa Da Cai' . haha.. who doesnt wish to be richer.. or am I too practical.. haha. I was reprimand by G, telling me his master is not a genie who can make my wish come true.

So I am not sure if I am really serious about enaging this master to help me, because utimately, its about faith. If I do not have any faith in this master, it will be pointmess for me to see him. I am still pondering if I should call the master or not.. time will tell.. keke. Perhaps, my luck in 2007 lies in his hands.