A Day in a Life

Disappointed

2010-11-28T07:04:00.000+08:00

Im back again.

All I can say now is, my heart is bleeding badly.... Can god tell me what I should do?

Lost

2009-12-12T15:12:00.002+08:00

Its been long since I last wrote on my blog. I guess this blog has been long forgotten; which can be a good thing as this can be a channel for my secret hideout.

Years passed. When I read through this blog, I realised that how much have changed but I still achieve nothing all these years. I also get to learn that the more hopeful I am, the more disappointment I will get.

I feel that I failed in my career and my relationship. As for relationship, after almost 6 years together, I longed for a happy ending but he never proposed. I seriously doubt if he is committed to me. Until today, he is still broke. Y am I dating with someone who doesnt have any idea how to manage his finance, how have no urgency to settle down with me and a slacker. Disappointed. Full of disappointment.

I don't know who I can turn to. I feel so lonely suddenly. Cried. Cried the whole day. But what can crying do? It cant help to improve the situation.

Speaking of improving situation, I thought I had tried my very best to help him in anyway. Yet, no improvement but instead, its getting worst. I'm tired. Really tired. I don't know what I should do to help him. No words can describe how tired I am. I ran out of idea of how I can help him.

Yes, I know life is about choice. I can choose to dump him. However, there's always a 'but' in life. My 'but' is.. I don't know why it is so hard to give him up. I'm confuse. I don't know what I should do. If God really exist, can he guide me?

My Final day

2007-05-23T22:26:00.000+08:00

I have been waiting for this day for so long. I cant imagine I dutifully serving this company for one year and one month. I am so relief. I do hope I can have a brand new start at my new working environment.

Wish me luck!!

I am stupid

2007-05-12T01:24:00.000+08:00

He says I am stupid, just because I do not know certain things. Who are born to know every single information in all aspect.

Since young, my parents told me I am stupid, pig brain. Am I really so stupid? Am I really so worthless?

That is emotional abuse. Those abusing words coming out of the mouth of your love ones hurts badly.

Do you still love me?

2007-05-06T17:24:00.000+08:00

You promise me you want to bring comfort to my life
You promise me you will want to share my burden
You promise me you will ease my suffering
You promise me you will take care of me unconditionally

I believe you will honor your promise
I believe in you
but
You break your promise
You break my heart

I insisted you are the one, when the world do not agree on our relationship
I turn my friends away who thinks you are a bad choice
I believe you can bring me happiness,
thus
I ease your pain by supporting you financially
despite the fact that I am in deep shit
I stood by your side when the world despise you

However, I can never imagine you have denial all the good deeds I had done for you.
You claim that I am using money to thrash you,
You claim that my financial support is not a big deal.
You believe I did not spend much on you when I have been providing the capital for your food and transportation every month when you run out of cash.
You disappoint me further by surging on luxury and non-necessity items.

Am I a fool?
Am I being cheated?
Do I deserve to love someone who does not appreciate what I had done for you?

You no longer remember our anniversary
You no longer give me surprises
You no longer pamper me
You no longer share the pain with me

I am standing alone, facing the world.
I feel so lonely
The only question I want to know is; Do you still love me like you used to be?

Love Management

2007-03-12T14:17:00.000+09:00

Falling in love can be a sweet experience, but maintaining a relationship seems like a totally different ball game.

How to define Love. Is it just a feeling? When 2 people form a relationship, is it enough just being happy being with each other? Or there are other factors like money plays a big role in managing a relationship?

I have been pondering about these questions over the weekend. Evaluating the relationship, Im sad to say I had no idea where are we heading to. 3 years of episodes, will the story leads to a happy ending?

Love is hard work. I don't know if all the efforts are worthwhile.

Can someone tell me how to deal with bitches!!!

2007-03-01T23:40:00.000+09:00

I really hate working together with the bitches... working is like a living hell to me now... they are really damn bitches and I have no one to turn to... sighh..I really wonder how I can endure working in this bitchy company (the population of this company is made up of 90% bitch) for almost a year. Its time.. to change job.

One more week to go

2007-01-30T14:21:00.000+09:00

My boy will be back next sat.. yupee!!! Im counting down.....

Master Aaron

2007-01-26T14:08:00.000+09:00

I cant believe myself but I really did it. Went to visit Master Aaron. It was purely out of curiosity. I merely wanted to know my career for the coming year but perhaps I have asked too much. He had told me things which I do not wish to know..

Was quite pleased with his advise and felt more assured with myself. It is only a matter of how much I believe and was really surprise by how accurate he analysis me. I shall grade him 90% accurate...

I learn a lot about myself and what I should do to improve my well-being. Other than career, I have to take note of my health too.. and he warn me for I have the tendency to have migrane and I might be having low blood pressure. Overall.. I didn't regretted visiting him. At least I know I have to watch out for my health too.

Thoughts when my love is not around

2007-01-25T14:42:00.000+09:00

Its been a few days since he had left for New Zealand. I can hardly sleep for the first two nights. Perhaps Im too used to his company. But now, I am back on track.

Kinda miss him yet envy him, for having the chance to go to New Zealand. I am still waiting for my turn to travel. Money is always the issue. sighhh Im a slave to money.

Anyway I will be seeing him again in approximately 2 weeks. Have a little mix feeling; I wanted to see him again so much, yet I know that I will have lesser time for my friends.

Therefore, one of the New Year Resolution is, I want to have a balance of full time work and personal life, Secondly, a balance of spending time with boyfriend and friends, Thirdly, a balance of self-improvement and idle around. Easy said than done.

fengshui for 2007

2007-01-24T14:30:00.000+09:00

Once again.. Ive been MIA again... have been lazing around and spend my days day dreaming.. keke... seems like my life in 2007 should be a normal and peaceful one..

Have been hanging around with L quite frequently. Its always nice to hang out with old friends. Old friends are always the best. Seems like things are not going well for her and she is trying to do something to improve her luck. Well.. Im keen too.. who doesnt wish to improve one's luck. It was then I realised that she wanted to enage a fengshui master.

I decided to help her. So after checking with all my friends, finally got one lobang. However, this particular fengshui master whom is recommanded by my friend, G, doesnt seem like the kinda conventional master to me. According to G, he is specialise in fengshui, but he can offer other services like fortune telling, advise, and some other spiritual related services.

Sounds 'chim' to me.. not sure if this master can help me in anyway. So my friend G asked me what areas am I looking at, I just simply reply'Fa Da Cai' . haha.. who doesnt wish to be richer.. or am I too practical.. haha. I was reprimand by G, telling me his master is not a genie who can make my wish come true.

So I am not sure if I am really serious about enaging this master to help me, because utimately, its about faith. If I do not have any faith in this master, it will be pointmess for me to see him. I am still pondering if I should call the master or not.. time will tell.. keke. Perhaps, my luck in 2007 lies in his hands.

Soul Sculpture

2006-11-12T23:21:00.000+08:00

I was watching a special programme on channel 8, featuring 'Soul sculpture' and I am truely inspired by him. He is now an advocate in oganic and enviromental issue and has lead a very simple yet meaningful life. What amazed me is how he gave up his 6 figure annual salary job to proceed to 'discover' life on earth. Travelled around the world to understand the world, and now despite of the peer pressure, he insisted that he no longer want to live the busy city life he used to lead.

It was the 1997, silkair plane crash that gave him a wake up call. Due to his job requirement, he had to travel alot via plane. Apparently, that incident had a strong impact on him. He wonder what if he was one of the passenger on that plane? He knew that he didnt want to die, for he had not live his life the fullest. In order to figure out the meaning of life, he quitted his job and went for travelling for 4 years. The experience had thought him many things about life other than money and material.

I feel that singaporean are too busy chasing after material and money is a measure of their success. What success really means? Does it really mean living in high-end appartment or drive luxury car? To me, I fell that they are simply too numb in the midst of chasing their 'success'; they have forgot how to enjoy simple happiness in life. Relationship and friendship grew apart and I really wonder if it worth it.

My colleague L is one of a very typical Singapore. I cant blame her because this is how our society shapes us. She always tells me how to get more money or how to climb the corporate ladder in the fastest way. I know she meant well, for I cant deny money is still the utimate and fundamental tool for basic survival, however, to me, I will still feel 'empty' even if I am on top of the ladder.

L once told me that I have plan fast, for it be too late for me to start all over again. She is now in her 30s and she told me that when she was my age, her salary is almost what she is getting now. In another words, I am such a loser for only getting half of what she used to have when shes my age.

Now I question myself; will I be satisfy with my life if I am a high-flyer? Well, life is not a race. I do not see why I must get myself involve in this 'ladder climbing' competition. To me, I may not be young, but I am still not too old to start all over again. So what if I always change job, and so what if I never stay long in a job, I believe I can only discover my passion this way and at the same time, to reinvent myself. I really don't mind getting a pay of junior level, as long as I realise what my passion is by the end of the day.

While some of my friends are busy with looking for rich boy-friends or too busy making money, I always wonder if I am a freck for I can never fit into their community. Maybe this is what makes me so different from the rest. I have plans and goals. I hope to achieve it, but by doing so, I do not have to follow the crowd and get myself conform to the structure and system registered in a typical sterotype Singaporean's culture and perception. While acheiveing my goals, I want to feel 'alive' at the same time. The sense of being or feeling 'alive' is something which money can never buy.

I have achieve a step to being 'alive' by enaging in voluntary work. I am not doing it very frequent but this is still my very first step. Of course, there will be more to come. Utimately, I hope I can get to travel the world, just like the guy featuring in 'soul sculpture', to understand the human race, our mother earth and of course to understand myself as a human being.

All about me (not sure how true it is)

2006-10-14T19:43:00.000+08:00

Key Areas of your Personality

Your personality stands out from the average person's particularly in the areas of:
Your High Curiosity Level
Your High Emotional Reactivity Level
Your High Multi-tasking Ability
Your High Need for Control/ Predictability
Your High Empathy/ Sensitivity Level

Your Interaction Style:

You scored 55 in the area of extroversion/ introversion, which means that your energy is directed primarily outward towards other people and things - rather than inward. You don't mind being alone, but you feel most energized and inspired when you are around other people. Your mixed extroversion/ introversion tendency affects your learning style: For example, it is more effective for you to listen to a person explain something than it is for you to read about it on your own.
Social patterns: You are right-brained when it comes to interacting with people and recognizing emotions in other people.
What does this mean? Since there is a 'cross-over' in the human brain for visual information, it means that you tend to focus on the left side of a person's face when you want to figure out what they are thinking and feeling.
Hearing preferences are an interesting exception to this right-left crossover rule. For example, if two people were talking behind a closed door and you needed to put your ear on the door to eavesdrop, it's likely that you would use your right ear instead of your left.

Im Being HAUNTED!!!!!

2006-09-21T21:10:00.000+08:00

I know I know... its been ages since I last update my blog. Too many things happen.. Im not sure where I should start.

For the past few months.. Ive been haunted by a crazy woman.. only till last night, I finally break free from this mad woman.

All of a sudden I found peace and I hope this serenity will last forever.....

Sucky Mood

2006-07-31T10:30:00.000+08:00

The depressing mood is back again. I don’t know why. Felt so jaded with life and once again, I felt like leaving this place again.

Recently, I have been hearing few stories from friends. I guess, these few stories have enough impact to make me feel depress and disappointed with life. Although I should consider lucky that these mishap did not happen to me, but I cant help feeling sorry and sad for my friends. I do not think they deserve to experience all the unhappiness.

Perhaps, these stories are too overwhelming for me to handle. I became very skeptical about life. I started to have all sorts of wild imagination of what is going to happen to me or how will I react if the same situation befall upon me.

I need a break again. Feel like traveling or staying somewhere far away again, This is what I did in the past;I had escaped problems for 3 years and now I felt like doing it again. Sounds like I am a loner who always escape from problems. I guess, I am always a loner. I have no one to turn to when I need support or help.Sometimes I felt that the burden I had is too much for me. Maybe, at least for now, I can turn to my boyfriend and a couple of loyal friends. This makes me cherish them even more.

As for now, I am looking for some peace. So I really hope that I do not need to hear the same old stories from my friends.

I wish

2006-07-17T13:28:00.000+08:00

Ok.. I know life can never be perfect. But if I have the ability to change my life I would wish for :

1. Supermodel height
2. Perfect skin
3. $$$$ in my bank account
4. tai tai life
5. splurge $$$ like no body's business
6. rich and privilege
7. rich and loving bf ( I have a loving bf but not rich, well.. no one can be perfect)
8. able to travel around the world

I know its too shallow to wish for these but I believe I will be a happier person if I have all the above. I have to face the fact that geni in the bottle never exists. Back to work again

Dealing with the Quarterlife Crisis

2006-06-27T23:45:00.000+08:00

Found this articular meaningful. Extract from MSN.

When high school pals Alexandra Robbins and Abby Wilner, now both 25, got together over lunch several years ago to catch up on their lives after college, they were both ready to tell some glowing stories about how well they were doing.
"At first, we both said we were having a great time," recalls Robbins, an English and American studies double major in college, now working in the Washington, D.C., bureau of the magazine The New Yorker. But before the conversation went much further, the fronts that twentysomethings often put up vanished. Both women admitted they were feeling unhappy, confused, and somewhat adrift.
"Then we started seeing that many of our friends were feeling the same way," Robbins says. "And there weren't really any resources to help us deal with what we were going through."
So Robbins and Wilner decided to create one themselves. The result, based on their own experiences and several hundred interviews with fellow twentysomethings who graduated from college in the past few years, is their book, Quarterlife Crisis: The Unique Challenges of Life in Your Twenties.
It goes without saying that when you interview more than 200 of your peers, you learn a few things you'd like to pass along to others. For Robbins and Wilner, their book and its accompanying Web site are vehicles for doing just that. They also welcomed the opportunity to offer career and personal advice here--particularly for those in the middle of a confusing, demoralizing quarterlife crisis.
Here are a few of Robbins and Wilner's recommendations:

Don't have a career plan? Don't worryYou don't need to freak out if you have no idea what you want to do with your life, stresses Wilner, a Web administrator in Washington, D.C., who majored in psychology in college. "I temped and got a taste of various fields and companies out there before I settled into my first permanent job," she says. "So don't let those external pressures get to you, don't think that all those people with plans have everything figured out, and don't think of it all as some kind of race and that other people are ahead of you. We all backtrack at some point as we make shifts in our plans. That's just the way it is."
Separate a job's meaning from its trappings"Forget about how much money a job will pay you, forget about societal prestige, and forget about what your parents and friends think about your job," says Robbins. "You have to figure out what's meaningful to you in your career, and what will warm your heart and make you want to jump out of bed each morning."
Robbins knows what she's talking about. Three weeks after she graduated from Yale University, she took the first job offer she got after being "completely seduced by the trappings. The pay was wonderful, I liked the people, I had my own office with a door, and my commute was only 15 minutes."
There was only one problem: "The work sucked," she deadpans.
She lasted for eight months but was miserable the whole time. Don't make the same mistake, she stresses.
Scared, lost, or clueless about your career? You're normalMaybe you're questioning yourself and your place in this world more than ever. Maybe you're barraging yourself with intense self-interrogation, as Robbins puts it. Maybe you're filled with anxiety and fear. And maybe you believe you're the only twentysomething who feels so confused.
You're not, Wilner emphasizes.
"One thing I honestly wish is that I had done the research for this book even earlier, because that in itself helped me tremendously," she says. "Listening to everyone's experiences, anxieties, thoughts, fears, hopes and dreams…so much like my own. Who knew?"
It took Robbins and Wilner hundreds of hours and conversations with their peers to learn that they--and their peers--were normal. You are too.
"If I had known back then what I know now, I wouldn't have beaten myself to a mental pulp so frequently," Robbins says. So neither should you.

Road to Happiness

2006-06-16T12:26:00.000+08:00

2 of my colleagues are getting married!!! Thats so envy. One of them had a webpage full of their wedding photos and details. Seeing them glow with happiness, Im happy for them too.

I never thought wedding is a romantic event. Perhaps Im not a romantic person. Lots of my galfriends have lots of fantasy of how their wedding day or wedding gown is going to be like, but for me, wedding is a chore.

My perception of wedding changed when I worked in Riz Carlton as a banquet waitress. Having witness countless of wedding event, I began to have my own vision of how my wedding is going to be like. Thats when I understand why my galfriends have such fantasy. Those wedding dinners Ive seen are always so romantic and touching. It makes me wanna cry especially the touching scene of couples thanking their parents.

It is not an easy process to tied a knot. Relationship fails when they cannot overcome obstacle or temptation in reality. In life, relationship fails one after another, Mr or Ms right may hard to come by. No one can define how Mr/Ms right is going to be. Only you can define yourself. For some unlucky ones, the right one never come by, they can only choose the second best available. Thus, I conclude that finding the right one to settle down is like searching a tiny, un-noticable needle in the midst of the ocean (quoted from chinese idom). Thats life. It is that sweet yet bitter.

Watching couples walking down the alse hand in hand, making vow in front of all love ones, I knew for sure thats the very moment for them. Their partners may/may not be the right one, for no one is perfect, but nonetheless, its going to be the most memorable event in their life time.

As a gal, I dream of a romantic wedding held at a beach or garden with my Mr right. Will my dream come true?

Thoughts

2006-06-15T12:36:00.000+08:00

Was watching Project Runway last night. I always love fashion, so Im trying hard not to miss a single episope especially I had night class on that day. And for some reason, yesterday's episope had leave an impact on me.

What was special about the episope was that the designers have to work in a group of 3. This is when you can see either they will work hand in hand or to kill each other. My all time favour Daniel Franco was evicted for being too 'safe'. I have to confess that hes lack of creativity but what I admire most is his attitude towards his work and the competition.

He dare to admit his mistake and he left the competition with grace and dignity. How many contestants can have such charisma??

Sometimes by looking at him, I felt that I could relate to him in certain way. Still remember when I was in Australia studying architecture, I really had a hard time pleasing my tutors. I always thought I am creative. Friends do compliment that I dare to dress differently and creatively. Perhaps the environment over there had proved me wrong.

My tutors always tell me that my design is 'safe'. Just like what the judges commented on Daniel. I couldnt say I do not have the passion to design, maybe my passion is not strong enough, maybe Im not talented, maybe, maybe..... till now, I still couldnt figure out what had gone wrong.

In the end, I chose to give up. I always tell myself the environment kills my passion. Well,thats just an excuse im giving myself just to get away with it. Deep down, I know that Im just lacking of exposure and knowledge in my field.

When I read the biography of all the contestants, I realised that not only they had the passion and skill, but one thing in common about them is that they have years of experience and exposure. With these factors, it helps to inspire their design and at the same time, it helps them to move so far.

As for Daniel, I wouldnt say he is not talented. He was away from fashion industry for 5 years just to help out in family business. I figure that may be the reason why he got kicked out so soon for not being in touch in fashion world for so long.

As for me, Im still not sure if designing is my main passion. I know where my problem lies. Not sure if I will ever wanting to continue what I used to give up. A few of my close friends told me that I will strive if I proceed to design clothes instead of building. Are they right about this? Im not sure, coz I still don't know myself.

2006-06-07T13:30:00.000+08:00

I really regretted meeting K last night. I should have meet up with Linda instead. K and I havent met up for ages. The last time we met up was during the chinese new year. So I decided that maybe its time to catch up with each other.

Unforunately, my hp was down. Lucky I still have a cent coin left to make call to K, telling him my exact location. He made me waited for half an hour. I cant believe a guy can make a girl wait for so long. When he turn up, he seem troubled.

K : I feel so bad to leave my customer halfway.
Me : Customer? What job are you doing? I thought u r a cameraman?
K : Oh.. its some kinda job recruitment. Anyway should we go to Raffles Place to have dinner?
Me : What?!? Thought we had agreed to have dinner at City Hall. Besides, theres nothing much to eat at Raffles Place.
K : Oh come on.. Im really worry about my customer

So I gave in. So the 2 customer was on his mind all the while. I thought we are suppose to have a good time catching up with each other rather than toking about work.

He recommand that the sting ray at a particular store is fantastic. Im eager to try. When we settled down and order our dinner, his friend suddenly called saying she wanted to join in while waiting for her friend. I feel odd. Why would his friend wanted to join in just like that? I never question him. His friend, V came and she turn out to be very friendly. We chatted about our life and work. Everything goes on fine when suddenly she brought up a topic.

V : Oh.. So you used to be an insurance agent. Its a tough job and their system don't seem to work anymore. Have you heard of any MLM (Multi level marketing)

Oh no... I knew something wasnt right

Me : Ya I heard of that
V : So whats your opinion? Are your positive or negative about it?
Me : Im neutral
V : Then have you heard of SLM ( Single level marketing)
Me : No. Never

The conversation starts to revolve around this topic. Straight away, I knew the purpose of this meeting. K didnt genuine ask me out to find out more about my life but rather he had agenda in his mind. Shortly after, V left. I try to test K to see what is on his mind.

Me : So what are we going to do after the dinner?
K : I don't know. But I want to go back to my company. I don't feel at ease leaving my customer to my friend althought my friend said they are in good hands.
Me : (Disappointed)Oh... so you better go back and have a look just in case.. you know..
K : Ya. Then how about you? why don't you come to my office and have a look.
Me : (Im not that dumb to fall into your trap) No thanks besides I need to rest early.

We parted. Im feeling so shitty afterwards. I wonder if I would still wanna meet up with him again. His mind is all about his business and wanting to bring me into the business. His friend V was there for a purpose as well. The whole thing is a plot. Gosh!!

Undiscipline

2006-06-05T13:25:00.000+08:00

Its Monday again. As usual, I couldnt wake up on time but luckily I wasnt late this morning. It seems like everyone in the office is having blues; they are all late for work. Hahaha.. typical Monday. Today will be a tiring day for me; have to attend night class tonight. I really wonder how to keep myself awake for the lesson.

I am impress by my classmates at how hardworking they are. They make me feel so guilty. Not only they have to commit to their full-time,they are full-time mothers as well. But they sill find time to do their revision. So I set aside to revise everything on Sunday. However this is what I did during the last weekends:

Friday:
Hippi... Was glad the work was over. I hang out with my colleague Ju for dinner. Planned to finish dinner before 830.. but not possible.. with all the chatting and shopping, I reach home at around 930. My boy was suppose to come to my house to deposit his newly bought 2nd hand musical keyboard and planned to have another round of dinner with him. But I waited for 45 mins before he turn up. Was pissed, so ended I didnt have dinner with him.

Saturday:
Woke up with my boy beside me. It definately brighten up my morning, esp being able to see your love ones the moment you open your eyes. Im glad that I didnt push him out of my bed. He was such a pig. Im about to finish reading the book ' The Devil Wears Prada'. So I decided to finish the whole book before waking him up.
By noon time, he is still zzzz. I woke him up and ask him to buy brunch for me. Afternoon sucks. We had no idea where to go. Instead I watch TV while he was busy exploring his new keyboard. I never know he was so interested and talented in Music. After struggling to play a few chinese song, he gave up. Then we ended up having afternoon nap together.
By the time we woke up, its late noon. I was disgusted by the way we wasted our weekend sleeping. To utilize our weekend, we got ourself prepare and head down to Orchard. My main purpose of going to Orchard is to buy books from Kinokuniya but we ended up shopping for clothes as well. By the end of the day, I got myself a book and a nice top from Mango ($$$). Gosh, I have to bring lunch to office from now on. I dun wish to overspend.

Sunday:
Suppose to study but half the day was used for watching TV. I love to sit in front of the TV on Sundays coz no one will interfer me. After which, I discipline myself to start my revision. My boy went back to camp for military exercise. Sunday isnt the same anymore without him but its a good time for me to focus on my studies. By late noon, I had a surprise. My boy appear in front of me. Didnt expect him to book out. Was thrill that I have someone to have dinner with.
By night time, its Tv time again and its also time for boy to go back to his camp. I tell myself I must continue my revision after the Tv programme. Unexpectedly, K called me right after the program ended. Thought this will be a short conversion but we ended up chatting till 11pm. Perhaps hes got lots to complain about his work. Life is really not easy as a cameraman. Feel so sorry for him sometimes.

So I only manage to finish reading one chapter of my textbook for the whole weekend. I have all the reason to feel guilty. Boy and I decided that I must really start my revision next week. Its a good way to save money too.. haha

First Day of my class

2006-05-24T13:08:00.000+08:00

Just sign up for a diploma course. Monday was my first day of class. Its also my first time having a part-time study while having to work full-time. I know its not going to be easy but not matter what I will have to endure for 9 to 10 mths.

Starting a new course is a new start for me. Its definately not as tough as getting a degree but I know it is going to occupy my time. Im kinda excited and looking forward to the course.

The class started at 7pm. I thought wouldn't be able to make it on time. Moreover, I was so tired after spending the whole day in the office. To make things worst, I dont even had time for quick bite. I wonder how am I going to concentrate during lesson.

My boy gave me a big surprise by waiting for me at the train station. Didnt expect to see him as he was suppose to be in camp. His appearance lift up my spirit. He said he wanted to give me a boost for my first day. Thats kinda sweet of him.

After we found our way to the school, he left. I was late by only 5 mins. I was lead to a small classroom with less than15 students. Guess smaller class will be better. The teacher was not bad. At least her lesson wasnt boring. For the first half of the lesson, my mind was clear. However, I cant concentrate during the second half. I was hungry and plus the fact that the room was soooo cold. The air-con was literally aiming at me. Had chosen the wrong seat for my first day. To make things worst, my teacher requested that we should not change our sitting arrangement so that she can remember our names better. Unable to focus, I had to request my teacher to adjust the temperature of the air-con. I thought Im the only one feeling cold, but when I point out to the teacher about the coldness, the rest of the class started to make 'noise' about the temperature. The point is, why didnt they voice out instead of waiting for someone to make the first move.

Anyway, the class ended at 9.30pm. My first instinct is to rush home to have my dinner. Today will be my second day. I should say I'm well prepared for hunger. Had a loaf of bread with me to sustain me through.

NO $$$$

2006-05-18T13:18:00.000+08:00

Depts Depts Depts!!!!!

I wonder whats the point of working sometimes. With my pay, 80% goes to repay depts, with the pathetic 20% for me to spend. Working is just a way for me to pay off depts and no enjoyment for me. Life simply SUCKS!!!!

Cant go for holiday, no new labtop for me!!!!!

Birthday Weekend

2006-05-08T13:47:00.000+08:00

Dun get it wrong. Its not my birthday. I have been celebrating 2 birthdays over the weekend. One is my long time friend and another one is my sister. Both of them share the same birthday; the only difference between both of them is the age and the character.

Was stressing wat to get for my sister. Its her 21st birthday. I must get something perfect for her. In the end I got her a very expensive japanese style handphone porch. Im not sure if it worth the price but I know my sis is going to like it.

My sis held her bday bash at home on the friday nite. Its kinda sweet to see her friends preparing food and drinks for my sister. Im sure its going to make her day.

Its good to be young, like wat Justine always tells me. Suddenly I had a wake up call: I need to treasure my youth rather than indulge in unhappiness.

Sat is suppose to be a voting day but im glad my area do not have opposition party. So in the evening, meet up with the gals and had a great time having stemboat and loads of ice-cream cakes. Havent been enjoying so much since the time I joined Prudential. Its good to be free again. Haha.

Ordinary Day

2006-04-25T14:06:00.000+08:00

Its another brand new day
Just an ordinary day

Just a gal
An ordinary gal.
Drag herself out from the bed
and get herself ready for the brand new day.

Its just a warm ordinary day
Train is crowded, Bus is crowded.
But this is usual.

She made her way to her office.
Seated in her cubicle, facing her laptop
She Begin to start off her day from 9 to 6.

The day is getting dark.
She is preparing to end of her work.
As usual, She is looking forward to see an ordinary boy.

Rushing off immediately.
And after all the long and tiring journey,
She finally see the ordinary boy waiting for her at the train station.

The boy held her hand,
whispering to her ear "I miss you".
Its just an ordinary words
but it melts her heart
Then he took her hand
and the ordinary couple headed home.

Happy outcome

2006-04-21T13:10:00.000+08:00

Its been a month plus since I last update my blog. March was a confusion and chaotic month for me. Having a bad time at Prudential. Management sucks, boss sucks, everything there just sucks. No wonder so many of my colleagues left. Well.. its a history now. I found a new job and I am typing this in my new office now. keke... Its friday and my manager is on leave... life is just too perfect for the time being.

Its a brand new start for me. Ive been in this new company for 3 weeks. I am still in my 'honeymoon' period. So I must enjoy my honeymoon as much as I can now.. Once my manager assign the accounts to me I thk I will be damn busy by then. I am now a Corporate Relation Executive. Title Sounds good rite... haha.. Basically I have to manage and maintain relationship with the existing clients. Sounds an easy task to me.. I duno y my manager make it sound as though this is a tough job. The only challenge is that I may have to handle difficult clients and lots of workload.

So far, I like the environment here. Coz I still havent got involve in any poilitics here.. but can tell the ppl here are so much better than when Im in JCO. Since Im here, my life have change quite a fair bit .
1) I don't have to stress every single day or minute about getting deals or not
2) I don't have to work till late night
3) I can spend more time for my friends, boyfriend and myself
4) My pay is not alot but at least I can substain myself and lead a much comfortable life than before when I even have to stress for money every now and then.

So I set myself new goal and resolution:
1) Positive attitude towards my work
2) Take up a secretaty course (I finally know what I want. I hope to be a corporate secretary)
3) Get myself a laptop
4) Repair my face

I hope my career will be a smooth one this time. Wish me luck!!!

Imagine

2006-02-01T16:51:00.000+08:00

Imagine there's no Heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky

Imagine all the people
Living for today
Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world

Imagine all the people
Living life in peace
You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

John Lennon

Surrender to fate

2006-02-01T15:39:00.000+08:00

I used to think that life can be simple and easy...
each day was a carefree day for me...
everything comes so easy for me.. and that makes me believe things will go my way

I know I was naive.
Whatever I had plan for my future never came true.
Ive met lots of ups and downs and thats when I know that growing up is never easy.
My carefree days are gone, for I have lots to worry.
My smile gradually disappeared and I know I am not truely happy with my life.

Sometimes I wish that I could turn back the clock,
back to those happy days I used to have.
And if I could go back to the past, I would like to make things right.
Of course what past had past, I am not in control to change my destiny.

People always tells me fate lies in my hands
but I am lost at how I can change my own fate.
Perhaps I am a weakling.
I have surrender my life to fate

Malacca Trip

2006-01-16T19:40:00.000+08:00

Just back from Malacca trip. Having a Annual General Meeting there. Somehow after the trip, I feel more recharge and is now prepared for more challenges. During the trip,I didnt explore around the city as the meeting ended till late evening.
At first, I don't really look forward to this trip as I dun get a chance to spend my weekends with John. However, I didnt regret going. But its through this trip, I got to see that my colleagues and my boss are actually nice people. All the while I have wrong perception about them. After the meeting, I realise that I have colleagues wanting me to move on and I am rather surprise that they have more faith in me that I do. It was a wake up call asking me to start believing in myself.
In the past, I have work for quite a number of companies be4. But this is the only company which makes me feel that I am one of their family. Though I do not stick to any 'gang' within the company, somehow, I feel very comfortable with the colleagues.
Anyway, pretty tired now. Will be prepared to face the new day tomorrow :p

2005-11-22T17:03:00.000+08:00

Have been so busy with my life. No time for friends and bf. I don't even have time for myself. Finally today, Im giving myself a day's off.

Yesterday was John's Birthday. As his gf, I feel that I didnt really put in effort to make his day a memorable one. Partly becoz both of us are broke. He is far worst than me. I wonder when I will be rich.

We ended up watch 'legally blond' at home. Watch it umteen times.. but this is the only way to subsitute with movies. Wanted to get a small cake for him but he stop me from getting one. Thought of getting a simple gift for him but he told me he will be angry if I do. He said the greatest gift was 'me'. Thats so sweet of him. I know he don't want me to spend any money and because of this, he is making me feeling so guilty.

He was so thankful and happy when I told him I am going to put aside my work and spend the day with him. Somehow, I didnt make his day a special one. It seems like its just a normal day. After getting a bad news from one of my prospect at night, my mood turn sour. I try to be happy in front of him but guess I cant hide. Im feeling even worst when he was about to return to his camp. Really wish to spend more time with him.

I really do hope he was happy yesterday. All these while I had hardly spend time with him even on weekends as I am so busy with my work. Really do miss him.; miss those days when we hang around aimlessly in Orchard, shopping, movies, etc...Our life have change ever since Im in this line, but our feeling are still as strong as ever :p

New Challenge

2005-10-30T15:58:00.000+08:00

Cant really remember when is my last time updating my blog. Have been terribly busy with my work. I am now emotionally, physically and mentally drained. Im giving myself one day break. Hopefully I can feel recharge tml.

Have been in this insurance industry for one mth plus. Its like a trial period for me as I have been struggling to convince myself that I could do the job. Maybe my boss is right, I lack of self confidence. He mentioned that I had mental block that prevent me to go all out to excel. So what can I do to remove that mental block? Guess I am just worrying too much. I have been giving myself too much stress recently.

I have learnt a lot within this one month. Or rather, I have seen people's true colour. It its through this job makes me realise who are my real friends. And sad to say, I only have a few. There are many people out there trying to pull me down but instead of demorlising me, I am determine to prove these people wrong.

For now, I am trying to remove my mental block and just do my very best. I hope I can see results. For those who sincerely want to see me success, hope you guys can refer your friends to me if they happen to need my service. :p

Fengshi

2005-08-30T17:41:00.000+08:00

Post subject: I don't know how to analysis my 4P

I have been job hunting for a while and now found a job as an insurance agent. I am not sure if this job suits me. If not, what kind of job suits me. Base on my 4Ps, what are the ways to improve my career, love ( or human connection), health and wealth. What are my strength and weakness. Thank you very much

');

Hi dew73,

Quote:
I have been job hunting for a while and now found a job as an insurance agent. I am not sure if this job suits me. If not, what kind of job suits me.

How do you feel in your current job? Most important thing is - are you happy now than before. If you are, then stick to your job as it does fulfill that basic needs for survival. Insurance is about educating people about the caring - the need for savings - for health, education and family members. Selling insurance needs lot of patience.. just like a teacher.. a mother.
Your characteristics are like that - you do care for others.. and in many cases, brightens the life of others as well. Apart from being patience in educating, you also need good communication skills when selling insurance. As a matter of fact, you do have the patience and communication skillsets, and I believe, given time.. you'll find more comfort in current insurance job.

Quote:
Base on my 4Ps, what are the ways to improve my career, love ( or human connection), health and wealth. What are my strength and weakness.

Right now.. do not change your job for the sake of it.. and please.. if you can.. be less spendthift and 'showy'. be more humble.. Healthwise.. take care of your stomach and respiratory systems. And please, do not worry too much as it'll not get you to anywhere, without actions. Enjoy the sunshine whenever possible... exercise more. Once your self-strength has been strengthed, you'll find that you are able to maximise your potentials.... in both health/wealth...

---------------------------

A very good motivation for me for my current job. I am so surprise that this guy knows I am a spendthrift. Indeed a fengshi master.

A Happy Birthday after all

2005-08-30T17:05:00.000+08:00

Was complaining about my unhappiness yesterday.My sis and my friend Linda did suprise me after what happened, and my birthday end happily ever after.....

My sis bought me a small cake. Thats sweet of her. Never thought she will get a cake for me. A simple celebration, cake taste yummy, and it brought joy to me.

The second surprise came when Linda told me she will be coming to my place. Thats very nice of her too.. in fact I was so touch. Shes the only one who meet me up after her long tiring work. Had a nice chat with her and truely enjoy her company. As she need to work tml, I urge her to go back earlier.

My birthday still ended happily. Thats what family and friends are for. Now I have a better picture of who are my true friends

Unhappy Birthday

2005-08-29T18:52:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

Well... my birthday wasnt a happy one. Was suppose to meet up 2 friends, but all turn me down in the last minute.

I attend my M9 exam in the morning. The paper was a hard one, perhaps its my birthday, so lady luck is by my side. Happily pass the paper, I called Linda out for lunch. Thank goodness shes free. So she treat me lunch in Raffles Place. After some shopping, we are back to suntec. My planning was to meet Justine after this, however, she doesnt sound keen and was telling me she wasnt feeling well. Ok, I understand, but I was only asking her to meet me up just for a few hours will do and shes just having a mild flu.. never mind then...

Plan to meet xiuyun for dinner in the evening and I was really looking forward. So in order to kill time, I roam around town area till it gets bored, I decided to head home as I am going to meet Xiuyun around my area.

While waiting for Xiuyun to call me, I spend sometime chatting with my secondary sch friend who was working nearby. Through the conversion, its obvious that she dun remember its my birthday. Guess its normal, I dont remember all my friends bday too.

As I waited, I had a bad feeling Xiuyun is going to turn me down in the last min. Called her, no answered. I was getting impatient. At last, a sms from her saying she had last minute plan, have to cancel our meeting. Ok.. Im fed up. Never had such disappointing birthday in my entire life. Not even a word sorry.

No Birthday Cake, No friends to meet up, No one to share my joy. This is my worst and most disappointing birthday in my entire life. But I am still glad theres some friends out there who remember my bday. A few called or sms me wishing me best of luck. Do appreciate that.. A big thank you for those who remember my birthday.

Personal Thoughts

2005-08-26T09:47:00.000+08:00

Had just completed a 4 day intensive product course. It was damn exhausting. I never know being a financial adviser have to go through so much training and test. I have 3 more papers and 2 more product training to go. Had 2 papers yesterday and fail one of them.. have to retake again next friday.

During the product training, I got to know 2 cousemates. I am surprise to see how optimistic they are towards this field. Perhaps they have many friends promise to buy from them. Sometimes I really envy how supportive their friends are while I onli have a few close friends but all turn off when I approach them, thking that i want them to buy insurance from me . ok.. I understand they may not be interested and I wouldnt force them to buy. I just purly wanna market myself and what is wrong with that. I always wonder y my friends are not as supportive as the friends of my coursemates. Besides, my birthday is coming, I wonder how many of them will remember my birthday or will celebrate with me.

Anyway, during the third day of training, the trainer was trying to brainwash us by saying the market is always big enough for us to sell insurance. Well.. there is always a market for ppl like my cousemates who already have a network of friends or customers while I dun have such network. I am actually worry how am I going to hit their sales target when I dun even know where to find customers. For people like me, the beginning part of the business will be the toughest. Looking at it from another prospective, its a challenge for me. However, dream and reality is always the opposite. I wonder if I will ever make it in this industry. I thought of giving up when i realise theres still so many more training to go and not even sure after going through so much, will my effort pay off.

On the last day of the training, everyone was so relief that the hell training had ended. My coursemates were happily toking abt their future plans, goals and so on. How I wish I have goals and plans like them, however from my personal experience, I've learn a big lesson; things will never go the way i planned. So y bother planning so much. my cousemates were encouraging me not to give up this current insurance job as they say it might be my first stepping stone and even encourage me to take up other sideline jobs to get other different areas of exposure so that it helps me to be even clearer of what I really want.

However, I became very defensive when one of the coursemate was telling me its time for me to 'wake up' and not to wonder around aimlessly. Well.. he can never understand how does it feel being so clueless. Who doesnt wish to have a goal and work towards it? I know wat I want but I am not given the opportunity. Y is the society so inhumane? Y they always want people with experience and dun give people like me a chance to learn. I am frustrated with the society. Does it mean ppl with experience are always better with those non-experience? We need to start off somewhere before we can have the experience but I cant find anywhere who will appreciate my capability and give me a chance to learn.

So, are my coursemates really so lucky that they can get what they want or was it because of the broad network of friends, jobs can come easily? Or was it because they really have their so-called goals and know where to start from? Things seems to come easy for them. All the while, I always thought that success is about work the hell out of yourself, putting long hrs bounded to the desk. But if network is the reason that made them success, then it will make me more aware of the importance of broadening my social circle.

I not only learn more about insurance during the four day training, and I will definetly get myself a policy once i have some money. I finally know the importance and urgency to save up. Not onli that, I do learn many things from my coursemates as well. I have to thank my friend Justine for encouraging me not to give up and to Janice who always help me so much. Of coz to a few minority of friends who wouldnt think I cant make it.

Unlocking Secrets

2005-08-15T16:32:00.000+08:00

Shhh......... I know its secret... and because of the secret I behold, nobody will get to know the real me

I had a close friend and I thought we are close enough to share every single detail of our life or even secret. Till recently, I found that she had been keeping things from me, and not only that, what she share with me wasn't true. I was disappointed and I no longer trust any single soul.

Everyone is fake; they greet you with a mask. You can never see their true identity unless they remove the mask.

Evil power is so strong in the real world. Eveyone needs to safe guard their secret to protect themself. I used to blame my friend for keeping secerts from me and now I realise Ive been keeping things from her too. We have the same fear, the same insecurities. And because of the fear, we can never strip ourself for the naked truth. I understand why she is keeping things away from me and no longer blame her. Its just that I wish she could trust me a little more.

I really admire friends who can show me their inner soul without having any fear. I know it took lots of courage for them to do, so thanks for being so trusting . Its really fun sharing secrets with you guys!!!!

No Perfect Job

2005-08-11T16:30:00.000+08:00

I think I am a typical virgo; perfectionist.

Recently Ive been job hunting. Not very successful. Very flickle-minded coz I wanted to get the most perfect job. I know nothing is perfect. Well.....Guess I should try out this insurance job and stop hopping around for the perfect job.

Guys never know what a girl wants

2005-08-08T12:35:00.000+08:00

I wonder why my boyfriend can hardly make me happy these days. Sometimes I feel happier being alone. Was the problem lies with me or him? Was it due to our age gap? Was it because we hardly see each other? Was it because our thinking are too different? Or was it because I am asking too much?

I always look forward to weekends just to see him. But we always ended up unhappy with each other. I know he loves me, but he just simply don't know what I want.

I want a man not a boy; having to look after a boy can be so tiring sometimes. I want a man who show me the world I never seen before, a man who spolit me with clothes I never imagine, a man who brings me to lavish dinner which I never tried before. Most of all, I want a man who can shelter me from all the worries. In short, I just want a man who leads me rather than I have to lead him all the time.

Am I asking too much?

My story

2005-08-07T13:42:00.000+08:00

Its been quite a while since I came back from Australia. Emotionally, I felt much better but those 3 years nightmare in Australia had left a very bad side effect on me now.

I am trying to pick myself up. I am trying to forget those dark memories and live on. Somehow, life seems to be so cruel to me. I thought the dark memories can make me stronger but up to now, I am still struggling within myself.

I avoiding strangers, for I find them nuisance. I don't bother making new friends coz I just wish to be alone. I became reserve. Except for my boyfriend and close friends, I completely shut my world to others especially my parents; for I don't want them to see my insecurities.

My Parents:

A contradicting feelings for them. I resent them for not being able to understand me, for leaving me all alone when I need them, for loving me less than my sister, for making me feel like an out cast. I never feel I am part of the family. I always wonder whats the point bringing me to this world when they don't even want to care for me. Theres a statement by an author which I think its very true :
ALL PARENTS DAMAGE THEIR CHILDREN. Youth, like pristine glass, absords the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair.

Despite the hatred, I still love them. They are still my parents afterall. and coz of that I am feeling so gulity for disappointing them. I know they lost hope on me for they count on me, but I let them down. I feel precisely the way my mother always describle: stupid, good for nothing, low intellecture, pig-brain....

I think I am really useless. I try to feel good about myself but theres no way I can convince that. I dunno what is the reason for my existance .Perhaps if one day I gone, I will soon be forgotten. Who will miss me if Im gone? Who will cry for me? Maybe only my boyfriend and close friends will remember me.

Friends:

Friends are getting lesser these days. Those whom I thought are my best friend hardly contact me now while those whom seldom look up to me in the past stay by me. It makes me realise who my real true friends are. They are there to share my ups and downs and of course I share their life too.

I don't have many friends left now. Could it because they feel I never accomplish anything, a good for nothing fellow? I don't give a shit what they think of me now. All I want is to cherish my remaining friends. They are the once who bring laughter to my life

My boyfriend:

He is the only one who tells me the world is still wonderful place . He shows me that Love is actually everywhere. He brings sunshine to my life. Thanks for everything.

Me:

I wish to live a simple and normal life, but life is too cruel sometimes. I wish I could go back to my carefree days when I have nothing to worry or unhappy about, but i dun have the power to turn back the time. I want to be strong to handle life, but i know I am weak. I don't want to be trap inside this 'unhappy well' forever, I just one to be happy.

Can someone help me?

What does your blood type mean?

2005-06-17T10:41:00.000+08:00

This custom is said to have started in 1916 when some doctors in Japan made a medical report stating that people with Type A Blood were generally mild-tempered and intellectual, while people with Type B Blood were just the opposite. Today in Japan, blood type is popularly used as a personality-type indicator. Even though it hasn't been proven to have any scientific basis, many Japanese people believe in these distinctions to one degree or another

Type A
Speaking broadly, it is said that people with Type A Blood are calm, composed, and very level-headed and serious. They have a firm character, and are reliable and trustworthy (and hardheaded). They think things over and make plans deliberately, and they plug away at things steadily and assiduously. They try to make themselves more like their own ideal of what they should be. A Types may look aloof or distant to others. They try to suppress their own emotions, and because they have continual practice in doing this, this makes them appear strong. But, actually, they have a fragile, nervous side, as well. They tend to be hard on people who are not of the same type, and so they consequently tend to be surrounded with people of the same temperament.
Type B
People with Type B Blood are curious about and interested in everything. That's may be good, but they also tend to have too many interests and hobbies, and they tend to get all excited about something suddenly and then later drop it again just as quickly. But they do manage to know which of their many interests or loved ones are the ones that are really important, the ones they should hold on to. B Types tend to excel in things rather than just be average. But they tend to be so involved in their own world or become so carried away with something that they neglect other things. They have the image of being bright and cheerful, full of energy and enthusiasm, but some people think that they are really quite different on the inside. And it can also be said about them that they don't really want to have much real contact with others.
Type O
Type O Blood people are said to set the mood for a group and to take on the role of creating harmony among its members. Their image is one of taking it easy, of being peaceful and carefree. They are also thought to be big-hearted and benevolent, and they tend to spend money on others generously. O Types are generally "loved by all." But, they also, surprisingly, have a stubborn and strong-willed side, as well, and tend to secretly have their own opinions on things. On the other hand, they have the flexible, adaptable side of readily accepting new things. They are easily influenced by other people or by what they see on TV. They seem to appear level-headed and trustworthy, but they often slip and make big blunders inadvertently. But that is also the point that makes O Types lovable.
Type AB
People with Type AB Blood are said to have a delicate sensitivity. They are considerate of other people's feelings and deal with them with care and caution. On the other hand, though, they are strict with themselves and those close to them. They, therefore, seem to have two personalities: one for those "outside," and another for people on the "inside." They often become sentimental, and they tend to think too deeply about things. AB Types have a lot of friends, but they need time to be alone and think things through, as well.

Gee... I belong to type O...Im Lovable!!!!!

10th June 2005

2005-06-10T12:31:00.000+08:00

Today is Friday 10th June 2005 and I am 23 and 9 mths old.
So what are my achievements?

Looks : Nil
X-factor : forget it

Boyfriend : 1
Ex-Boyfriend : 0
Friends : >10

Job : Jobless soon
Salary : **** per month
Savings : $400 in bank
Career : Nil

Highest Qualification: Diploma
IQ : not sure perhaps 100
EQ : Low

Short-term planning : aimless
Mid-term planning : aimless
Long-term planning : aimless

Will update my life achevement if any chances.

Finally

2005-06-09T13:40:00.000+08:00

Today is the day he go for his enlistment finally. Woke up at 6.40am to get prepared. Not really looking foward to this day. His brother took the effort to drive us to the ferry terminal. Had a little moment together during the journey. Can tell he is so reluctant to go.

Saw lots of blur blur looking boys at the ferry terminal, waiting to board the ferry. Maybe they are feeling insecure like my bf.

Spend the whole morning at Pulau Tekong. Had a tour around his camp and had a slight idea how is training ground is like. My first time touring around the island, so was rather excited about it. Was surprise the army camp looks more like a country club than a rundown sick looking training ground.

Kinda relief that one of his poly classmate was there as well.. at least I know he wouldn't be alone during his first few days in the camp. Had lunch together with him before leaving the island.

Im all alone at the moment. A sense of solitude. Not used to that feeling. Now I truly understand how he felt when I left for Australia. It wasn't easy for him especially leaving him here all alone for 10 months.

Right now, I should start planning my weekends to meet up with friends.Havent been in touch with them for quite sometimes and feel rather bad. Partly becoz of wanting to spend more time with my boy be4 he leave, and oso ... Im broke again. sigh. Hope they understand.

TIme flys

2005-06-07T20:54:00.000+08:00

Now is June... time really flys without me knowing sometimes.... and in 2 days time.. my boy will have to go for his enlistment.

How I wish I can freeze the moment I spend with him. For the past few months, we spend lots of ups and downs together. I glad he is always by my side when my life turns upside down. Having seeing each other everyday, I became very dependent on him. Now he is about to leave, I'm not sure if I could handle his absence.

I know I will miss him a lot for Im definately not able to see him for 2 weeks.Im sure Im able to get adjusted to his absence as we had been separated for even long period than 2 weeks. Don't wan him to worry about me.

All I can do now is to spend time with him as much as possible, thus on leave tml... So hope there will be no quarrel :p

NS

2005-04-13T15:51:00.000+08:00

My boy is gonna enlist soon.... sooner than I thought... I gonna miss him like crazy when he is not around

Online Shopping

2005-03-15T20:49:00.000+08:00

Ive been hook up with ebay shopping lately. Not that Im lazy to walk around for items but rather.. the place have bored me. Base on my finanical status now, I can only afford window shopping.. but even then I still cant get the thrill out of it. Not because I cant buy them, its because they are dull and boring too... just like the place here.

My life is not going very fine lately, but I learn to take things easy and take a step each time. Althought Ive learn to move on, I still have to deal with people who never seem to stand by me. I dun think I should mention who these people are. For those who are close even to me, perhaps they will know who Im refering to.

Im very determine to pick myself up again. I wana feel happy and good about myself. So in order to achieve this happiness in a short-term manner, I turn to window shopping. People might feel Im weird but Im truely happy when I get to see all the exciting latest design for the current season and admiring interesting and colourful accessories brighten up my life for few seconds. These short-term happiness is enough for me to move on with my life with strength however, things are quite a disappointment here. The shops here are so stale. I feel like Im running out of energy.

Since reality shopping cant fulfill me, I turn to e-shopping. I never thought that online shopping can be so fun, but can be tiring sometimes.. for you have to stare the screen for long hours. Sitting comfortably in front of my laptop, I could even do 'global shopping'. I could shop in hong kong and taiwan's ebay site at the same time and if Im not happy with it, I could change my shopping destination by just one click. How convienient it is. Recently, I had successfully bid a pink halter neck top. Looking forward to my latest item. And now, Im trying to make a deal with a taiwan seller.

Online shopping is base on luck as well as I don't get to see good stuff all the time. But with some patience, you may end up with a good buy.. like me. And now, Ive found my motivation to take a bigger step to true happiness. WAHAHAHAHA

right or wrong

2005-02-21T14:00:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I really wonder if the choice I made is right or not.
Am I really such a sinful person that even my closest kin ignore me entirely.
Am I right or am I wrong, till now I still dun know the answer.

Goodbye 2004

2004-12-31T20:25:00.000+08:00

This is the last day of 2004. I'm sitting alone in front of the computer while others were happily welcoming the new year. Hope my boy is enjoying himself rite now. Completely too exhausted to join in the fun after long hours of work. Perhaps I'm realy getting old.

Personally feel that 2004 is not an eventful year for me.. as well as for global. Theres war, political conflict, death of some well-known celebrity, the end of streats and mediacorp, and the tusnami that destroy thousands of live blah blah blah... And as for me... of course its not a happy year, therefore I was hoping things will change for the better in 2005. I'm looking forward to the new challenge and I hearby thank eveyone who has been there supporting me when I was in my darkest moment.

MISERY

2004-12-12T20:17:00.000+08:00

My 3 years of youth have been wasted gaining nothing but failure, sadness, loneliness and emptiness. My life is not in control; a real- life puppet. My days are dark and I can see no light of hope shining upon me. Completely lost in the sea, waiting for someone to tell me the right direction to my destination. And I'm still waiting.

Perhaps I'm not as strong as I thought. I have lost the battle. I am willing to give up and surrender myself to end the suffering, but I do not have the luxury to do so. I have no idea how long I have to endure the agony but I really wish the pain can end soon.

Can someone please help me? I'm feeling really miserable.

Miss her

2004-11-09T19:18:00.000+08:00

My days are almost up. I'm going home to spend my vacation soon. I'm suppose to feel happy and looking forward to that day but somehow I'm feeling the opposite since yesterday.

All of a sudden I knew I'm gonna miss here but most of all, I'm gonna miss a very important friend in my life, a great deal. Still remember those wonderful days I spent with her.. she is my one and only friend who really brought joy to my life. Shared all the ups and downs with her and I really glad to have her as a friend. But seems like this year is not a very good year for both of us; we don't seem to have much time for each other and had some misunderstanding. I admit i'm kinda childish and created misunderstanding between us, but that doesn't seem to bother her.

Juz met her during her 2 hours break. Thought we didn't hang out for long, but it's already enough for me. I was wondering why I never seem to cherish the time I spend with her this year and really regreted it. Though life is tough here, I don't mind turning back the time just to spend more time with her coz we are gonna part for good next year.

So far, we only left a few more days for each other and we will definately gonna make full use of these time. This green page is specially delicated to her ( one of her favourite colour) and hope our friendship is able to last forever even after we are going for different path and destination. I wish her all the best in life and find her 'man' one day.

Take care while I'm not around, and thanks a million for being my friend. I'm gonna miss ya

Is Life A Miracle

2004-11-07T14:34:00.000+08:00

Who am I? An how, I wonder, how the story of my life will end?

Perhaps everyone's story isnt easy to explain, so is mine. My life is not the 'roaring' spectacular I fancied it would be, but neither its a mellow and dull one. I suppose it has been fairly stable for the time being), and sad to say, more downs than ups. A good buy, a lucky buy, and I've learned that not everyone can say this about his/her life. Well... I am nothing special; I am juz a common girl with common thoughts and leading a very common life. I know my name will be forgotten when Im no longer around but I've love another with all my heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough.

Would it be the love story of my life? Will it be a tough and spectacular one which can last over time? To me, it does'nt really concern coz I believe this is going to involve a great deal of my life and the path I've chosen to follow.

He has written the very first chapter of my love story, and he facinated me with the world which I had never seen or felt before. He had taught me what is love. Love is actually all around; mother to child's love, friends to friends' love boyfriend to girlfriend's love... and I've learned that Love is not an easy path for it is not always straight. People changed, people grow and get sad sometimes. The greatest love are those who overcome obstacles as they have withstand things that are thrown onto them.

So far, the road that we had travelled is still a very short one; there's long way ahead of us. We have overcome the first obstacle and there will be many others to come. But I still believe this is still the one true love that is able to withstand tough times. I believe it is a miracle to have found him.

PIMPLES!!!!

2004-11-04T13:49:00.000+08:00

HELP!!!! PIMPLES ARE BACK AGAIN!!!! SIGHHH.... Y CANT I HAVE A SPOTLESS SKIN FOR A MOMENT?? WHY !!!!!?????!!!!!

CONGRAS!!!!

2004-10-29T02:19:00.000+08:00

OH MY GOD!!!!!! ANOTHER FRIEND OF MINE IS GETTING MARRIED SOON !!!!! SO HAPPY FOR HER !!!! REALLY WISH HER ALL THE BEST ... HEHE

I've seen my friends... one by one getting married.... happy for them to have found their soulmate finally..... hehe... so when will be my turn???

Always dreaming of becoming a future tai tai... having huge sparkling diamonds shining on me ...hehehe.... so will I get myself a rich husband??!!???... ok... I know I'm dreaming too much... its time to get back to reality.

Time is passing so slowly

2004-10-24T17:06:00.000+08:00

22 more days to go... time seems to be crawling... still have a week to go before nov... sigh.... felt as though im rotting ...

2004-10-23T01:10:00.000+08:00

I always wonder am I a living shadow of my mum... Im born to be her puppet. After all these years living behind her shadow, I felt Im so vunerlable when I have to face the world alone. She claims that she loves me, but I doubt so. I am just her 'investment' for her own good.

Well... she is not really a bad mum... she is trying to provide me anything I wan in watever possible way... unlike my father. But I felt so soffocated. My life, my future is run by her... I dun have the luxury to determine my life.

I always wonder why did she bring me out to this world when she never stood by me a single times. I juz felt that I had enough. I wanted to break free of the strings attach to me. I juz wan her to stay out of my business.

LOVE IS ALL AROUND

2004-10-22T14:16:00.000+08:00

24 more days to go gals.... hope theres something to cheer up the house....

What the world needs now,
Is love, sweet love,
It's the only thing that there's just too little of.
No, not just for some but just for every, every, everyone.

Im Sick....:(

2004-10-20T12:08:00.000+08:00

Envy ah hua... she's heading to Hong Kong today... hope she enjoy herself....

Down with fever these 2 days... maybe I over-worked.... over strain my body... guess I might need at least 2 weeks break from work.... or maybe I might stop working.... dun thk this job suits me...

wan my bear bear leh... miss him leh.... :( 26 more days to go... hehe.... looking forward to see him..

MY HAIR!!!!

2004-10-15T12:40:00.000+08:00

OH MY GOD!!!!! My hair is now a disaster..... jas juz helped me to get my hair dye... well... the colour never turn out the way i expected....sighhh..... i will never trust DIY hair dye again... How am I going to face my boy with my hair like this?!?!?!?!

The Doom Week

2004-10-11T22:41:00.000+08:00

It seems like the week of death.... 3 great people had died. Christopher Reeve died of heart failure without having to fuilfilled his last dream. A French Philosopher, Jacques Derrida died at the age of 74. Keith Miller died at the age of 84. Who's next?

2004-10-10T22:49:00.000+08:00

Was watching My Architect- a son's journey. A truely touching documentation. Its basically toking about Louis kahn's project and life. And this is the first time, I learn to appreaciate architecture in a spirital level. And for the first time, I begin to understand what is architecture.

Someone used to ask me what is architecture. Frankly speaking, being an architecture student, I cant define it. I thought I'm a loser not being able to find a style of my own, till I watched this film, Kahn found his style only in his 50's or 60's.

I always wonder will I ever become someone big like him, but that means to sacrifice the devotion to those love ones... life is not easy, especially being an artist. This film has inspired me; not to be a super great architect, but not giving up architecture.

http://www.myarchitectfilm.com/

2004-10-04T14:19:00.000+08:00

I used to wonder who and where is my ' somewhere out there',
now I have found him in this big big world,
I wondered will he be my eternity.

:( I havent been chatting with my boy for ages.....

2004-10-04T11:07:00.001+08:00

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Life

2004-10-04T03:00:00.000+08:00

Its 230 am... supposingly... I should be tired... but a sudden unexpected bad news have kept me awake...thought it is not related to me but somehow it haunts me...

Had a mix feeling... confused, sad, perplex.... whatever you can name... sudden realised how fragile life is... well.. I've known this fact ... but the bad news had given me a waking call; Life is too precious. Someone might be there.. having a short chat with you.. the next minute.. he is gone, forever. How 'amazing' it is.

It made me realised how much I've taken ppl around me for granted. I don't even seem to treasure those dearest to me. Even for friends... sometimes I can't even bother to contact them. I've expect them to be always there for me anytime, anywhere. I procrastinate to pick up the phone to call my friends or to show that I care to my love ones. Never realised that one day, they will leave me and never return.

Well... keep reminding myself that life is preious, but I never take my life seriously. I always know I have not live to my fullest but I never take the effort to live the way I want or to make the best out of everything. Always grumble how unfair or bad life is, I never care to appreciate those happy moments or any form of success in life.

Its time for me to buck up. I've wasted enough time. I have to find the purpose of living ( I guess and I hope I have found), to cherish every single moment spend with my love ones and friends, and of course myself.

2004-10-03T22:36:00.000+08:00

pink flower??

2004-10-03T22:35:00.000+08:00

Purple flower??

2004-10-03T22:33:00.000+08:00

SPRING!!!! So happy to see flowers outside the front and back yard

Im back!!!

2004-09-30T17:22:00.000+08:00

Has been away from computer for quite sometime... had quite a no. of things to update... hehe

Previously, Jas, her friend Sam and I went to Melbourne show last sunday... its like a mega fun-fair... still remember the weather was very 'frickle minded' on that day....one minute... it was cold and windy... next minute... it was sorching hot... the weather doesn't seem to be able to make up its mind.. and I have to put on sweater and for the next minute when the weather changes its mind.. i have to take off again... but other than the funny weather.. the three of us enjoy ourselves...

Didnt go for rides... I'm too old for that... but I manage to win myself a small tiny fish... hehe... well... dun get the wrong idea... its not a live fish... hehe... Sam manage to win a huge pink poodle... lucky for her.. I never got to win anything huge in my life... sob... as for Jas... guess these r too kiddy for her liking... during late noon... we went to see some farm animals show... kinda fastinating for me.. we watch how the farmers shed the sheep's wool... the poor sheep seems so frighten by the whole process...

By night time... we manage to catch the fireworks.. at least theres something spectacular for the day... and its also the last day of Melbourne show... all of us were extremely exhausted by the time we got home...

And on tuesday.. Janice , Jasmine and I were having mooncake festival celebration.... haha... our initial plan was to take a stroll around our neighbourhood with lantern.... but the weather seems to be getting quite bad... windy and raining... no moon for us to admired...sighh.... although aving such bad weather outside... we did have fun after all... had mooncake with green tea... had fun taking pics of one another.... having some girls talk... not a bad full moon day after all...

For now... i'm still figuring how am I suppose to post my image onto my post.... seems like i'm still a computer dummy

Today

2004-09-25T19:06:00.000+08:00

Its approaching 7pm... I could see the sun setting behind the horizon from my window... the sky is almost engulf by darkness... houses were dimmly lit... what a serene sight.
I could hear a bird singing happily not from far... in fact I could hardly hear such beautiful 'song' after being here for abt 7 months ... it cheers me up suddenly... then came the noise of the barking,disrupting the peace... not very please by that... few minutes later.... everything seems to halt. And now I'm living in a quiet world, with the sound of the typing of keyboard occasionally..

Today is Saturday, its suppose to be a 'fun' day to hang out.... but I chose to isolate myself in my own world; a world with no distraction. I've found the calm and peace in me... I gain energy being alone today.

Personality test

2004-09-24T15:29:00.000+08:00

You are Black Koala who has purity and sweetness of a girl.
And no matter how old you get, you can stay youthful.
Your attitude is very straight forward and bald.
You have quick mind, and a sharp instinct to read the other person's mind.
You are an active woman.
Nevertheless, you also possess a motherly character.
You are kind and can show consideration to others.
You tend to be rather argumentative, and will not accept something that is unreasonable.
It takes time to gain your consent.
You are independent, and has a challenging spirit to achieve your objectives and ideals.
Once you start on something, you will not give up half way, or show weakness.
You know how to get on in life, and are a calculative woman.
Economic wise, you've got your feet steadily on the ground.
You are rather suspicious type of person.
You don't tend to take every word of other person straightly.
You try to read behind the lines, very carefully.
You tend to get lost in your thought.
You think high of sports and training.
Nevertheless, you also think a lot about art, and are a romantic sort of person.
Even after you get married, you can be successful as a professional.

http://noracom.net/eng/fortune/fortune.php

Hmmm... Im definitely not a calculative woman.. not very economic wise.. those who know me well will disagree on this too...keke... I can spend like nobody's business...
tend to lost in my thoughts??? does that mean I day dream too often??? hmm... maybe... but I don't thk I thk high of sports and training...... I dun thk im a romantic sort of person.. but I'm craving my partner to be..

But of everything description written up there... i should say im 100% gal of purity and sweetness..hehe... agree??

So guys.... try that out too... I got it from my cousin....

Me VS Technology

2004-09-23T23:31:00.000+08:00

Gee... juz discovered a way to upload image to my blog... duh... thats very slow of me huh... not being able to see the "upload image/file" icon that has been there all the time. Well.. guess I havent fully explored all the functions provided in blogger.. seems like a war between me and the technology.

A couple of days ago, had a serious problem with my internet explorer. For a few sec.. I could read chinese characters but it becomes ??? ????? ?? after that... am I the only one who encounter this? only funny things happen to me... guess only my cousin will understand this more than anyone else.

So for hours, my boy and I were trying to tackle the problem but it juz got worst. Can't use my internet explorer at all.. cant open any folder, not even ' my document' or 'my computer'. The computer juz refused to coperate with me. It was really late that time, and we knew we loss the battle. Finally, we surrendered.

And thanks a lot... since I couldn't open any drive nor folder, I couldnt backup my file. Thanks to my saviour ah hua.. you should know who you are...manage to backup all my files under safe mode.. before I reformat my computer....was kinda sad... as I've established a personal structure for my computer.. and they are now gone forever....sob..goodbye..xp..goodbye to my programs...

So now.. It seems like I've given this computer a new life.. but I don't feel intimate using it... dun feel like its my com...anyway... things seems to be pretty fine for the moment.. hope technology wouldnt go against me again.. or else it will be ' me against technology'..keke...

MY DAY

2004-09-21T12:48:00.000+08:00

Suppose to have a morning class... woke up at 8.45am... still feeling very lethargic and decided to give it a miss... continue back to my dreamland..keke.. Had a weird dream... I had a male china maid around my age... we kinda click along very well.... nothing interesting... juz find it perplex as I had no idea what is this dream trying to convey.

Woke up again at 11am.... still pretty slack.. lazing around... surfing the net.. before i started preparing to go for school... Havent done anything for design.. oppsss... and thats only a few more hrs away...

So I took my own sweet time.. head to school and do some work... luckily I had the idea in my mind... and it too me less than half an hr to sketch out my new proposal...

Join Janice and Jas for shopping... I didnt shop much... as its pretty late when I join them and they had done most of the shopping in the city... but seems like theres nothing refreshing for this spring collection, though I agree that the spring collection this year is so much better than the year before.

Anyway.. went for my tut in the evening... was glad that my tutor like my new proposal... and that means I have to re-do all my research as I've change site again for my major project... Like this new proposal too... can c lots of potiential in it...keke... so after class... went for dinner with Phoebe and head straight home after that...

Was reading news juz now and was devastated by the death of the american vit in Iraq. Iraqian r so inhuman... had no idea y americans r still there trying to rebuild the country for them... and thats wat theyve got in return.. I understand theres more political issue behind everything... but cant help feeling so unjustice for the hostage, Eugene Armstrong... he died in pain, his captor servered his head alive.. I understand not all musim will support this act and these captors are extremist..but it seems like a holy war, though George Bush is strongly empasizing that its not... well...the world can never be peace... terroristism can never be wipe out... only human kind will be banish one day from the earth.

Well... nothing every eventful today.. but the day is being occupied...hehe... and now im sitting in front of this computer typing my blog.. waiting for the right time to call my boy... miss him.. :)

青春

2004-09-20T13:36:00.000+08:00

如果我可以左右时间,
不让青春轻易走远,
每一个等待你的画面,
永远都留在身边。

如果我可以拥有世界,
我要一片广阔的天,
挂满了朋友们的笑脸让
每一天都快乐相见。

但是我依然是一个平凡忧郁的女生，
只能将你写在一本心灵的日记，
让他随风筝飞扬。

HOME

2004-09-19T23:01:00.000+08:00

Whenever I am feeling low
I look around me and I know
There's a place that will stay within me
Wherever I may choose to goI will always recall the city
Know every street and shore
Sail down the river which brings us life
Winding through my Singapore

This is home truly, where I know I must be
Where my dreams wait for me, where that river always flows
This is home surely, as my senses tell me
This is where I won't be alone, for this is where I know it's home

Music & Lyrics: Dick LeeMusic
Arrangement: Iskandar
Kit Chan

Good or Bad

2004-09-19T14:48:00.000+08:00

Everything that happens in this world,
there is no absolute good or bad.
Sometimes good things turned out to be bad things eventually,
while bad things become a gain.

Whatever good things that happen to you, enjoy it,
but dun hae to hold too tight to it,
treat it as a surprise in life.

Whatever bad things that happen to you,
dun have to feel sad or despair,
in the end, it might not be a total bad thing after all.

If one can understand this,
one will find life much easier

so Near yet so Far

2004-09-18T20:25:00.000+08:00

Our neighbours behind our house had moved out a week ago. Kinda miss them... well.. dun be mistaken.. we did not speak to each other at all.. I had no clue where r they from, what was their background, reason they moved out and blah blah blah. I used to catch a glimpse of their daily activities from my window. Now they were gone.. theres a sudden sense of emptiness whenever I look out of the window.

In fact, I dun know my neighbours living next to us. I dun know anyone living around me. Every morning, we will enage in our own business and by night fall, we will return home,confine ourself, and it leaves no chance to get to know the world. Theres no sense of community of the town. Everyone is like " I care for my own, juz mind ur own business" attitute. Is this phenomenom a normal one?

Guess thats got to do with the heirachy of the society. In urban city, it looks as if one is living in a world of coldness. Everyone is so preoccupied, competing each other to out shine their material status. No one will have time for humanity or even politics. On the other hand, while I was in a rural little town in Malaysia, people are totally opposite. Their friendliness and warmth touches my heart. I never felt like I've ever exist before.

So back to the point, our neighbours are close to us.. but yet so distant and this saddens me sometimes. While the world becomes more and more dehumanised, survival depends on re-inviting your perspective. Perhaps I should make the first move and make friends with our neighbours.

Egg mayonnaise. Curry. "My king size bed"

2004-09-17T22:43:00.000+08:00

Had a wonderful dream again... nothing interesting.. but having to be able to dream of my boy can really make my day :) A very fade dream... all I remember is that my boy is still in his secondary school day while I had graduated from my former secondary school.. we were on the way. While I stop by my sch to visit my teachers, my boy continue his journey to his school. These are all I can remember... Really wish to go back to those carefree seconday school days...

It was almost noon time when I woke up. My sleeping habit is getting out of hand ever since Im here... spend about 20 mins making my very own egg mayonnaise sandwich for lunch... yummy... and that last me the whole afternoon.

In the late afternoon, Janice, Ah min and I went out to stock up our fridge.. our stock is running out!!! Janice suggested to have curry for dinner.. CURRY!!!! OMG!!! Haven been eating singapore food for long... miss the food there... anyway... the curry turn out to be a good one..hehe... Im not a good curry maker... but will try to cook some for my family...(my dad's curry is too horrible...shhhhhh....)

Haven't done much stuff, but half the day had gone. Night time... trying to pack my room... its as messy as ever... I've tried my best to keep it tidy.. but it seems so hard.. did some face lift to my room... haha... its juz changing the arrangement of my room... so now... I have a "king size" bed in my room... envy rite..keke... ok.. dun get it wrong.. I didnt buy a new bed. I juz took Janice xtra single futon mattress next to mine.. to double up.. so now.. it seems like I've got a brand new "king size" bed for myself. Anyone who is homeless at the moment, feel free to come to my house.. my bed will have enough room for at least 3 people now.

Didn't accomplish much the whole day... juz laze around. ..feel like im draining my life doing nothing constructive the whole day...Boy Boy is working the whole weekends to meet dead ends..can only call him at 3am... sighh.... really miss him... was wondering if he is very busy now.

Disappointment

2004-09-17T02:37:00.000+08:00

Juz finish conversion with my bf not long ago... was feeling kinda down after we hang up.... once more... he had disappoint me.... never felt secure...

Perhaps I'm asking too much from him... I'm after perfection... but he is juz like any other human, full of flare. Although I understand the fact that no one is perfect, its still my nature to demand as much from him as I can, expecting him to meet up my expectation. Ok.. I know... Im not asking for a bf, Im asking for a genie who can fulfill all my wishes...

Sometimes I really wonder if I know how to love someone. I know Im not a good lover; my bf says im not romantic enough (which I disagree). Really hate myself for being so bad to him.

Still remember Janice and Ah min was telling me not to take him for granted. Immediately I knew I'm a bully in this relationship. Ever since then, I tell myself I have to be nice to him.. for he is really a wonderful bf... I dun wish to loss him... but not for tonite... I becoming a bully again... making my boy so miserable, and so do I. Regret for giving him cold shoulder.

Really love him... cant find any other guy better than him. Ah min told me something which kinda had an impact on me.." always remember for his love, not silly mistake"... Hope my boy can read this tml, to let him know how remorseful I am now... I will try my best to change for him... trying not to be a perfectionist.. as I dun wanna put any pressure on him..

Guess he must be in dreamland by now... am wondering if he dream of me... Had a bad flu juz now.. wish he get better tml.

The Begining

2004-09-16T13:34:00.000+08:00

Never thought that customizing ur own blog can be so tedious... perhaps its my first time. Trying to make it as perfect as it can be.
Woke up pretty early today, guess abt 9... the moment i wake up.. i start figuring how to add features into my blog. Never been so hardworking be4..haha... hardworking in the wrong area...
Hoping to get the blog done by today.... might not be possible...have to ask my sister's friend for help now... so god damn tired after spending the whole morning in front of the computer. Havent brush my teeth.. so u can expect i havent even had my breakfast and lunch...
Ive put all my hope on my sis friend.. hope by the end of the day... I will have a brand new blog

:)

Welcome the arrival of Spring

2004-09-15T13:25:00.000+08:00

The lilies in the back yard are blooming... they really cheer me up whenever I look at them from my window,with the breeze flowing through them,they seem to be dancing with joy.

The presence of flowers blossoming is a sign that spring is coming.
After having to endure harsh winter here.. I begin to appreciate the weather in Singapore.
Really love spring, my mood will pick up after having to go through the gloomy winter days.
During the winter, the sun usually set at 5, leaving the sky dark and grey. Was a little depress having to see the sun setting off so soon, making the day time shorter than usual.

Looking out the window now, I can feel the sun is greeting me happily, as if its telling me theres hope each and every single day. Sometimes I really wish I could share this moment with my love ones, especially my boy, for he is now going through one of the stressful moment in life. keke. How I wish he is by my side now, for I want to share my joy of spring with him

How Deep Is Your Love

2004-09-15T11:47:00.000+08:00

I know your eyes in the morning sun
I feel you touch me in the pouring rain
And the moment that you wander far from me
I wanna feel you in my arms again
And you come to me on a summer breeze
Keep me warm in your love and then softly leave
And it's me you need to show

How deep is your love
I really need to learn
'cause we're living in a world of fools
Breaking us down
When they all should let us be
We belong to you and me

I believe in you
You know the door to my very soul
You're the light in my deepest darkest hour
You're my saviour when I fall
And you may not think I care for you
When you know down inside
That I really do
And it's me you need to show

How deep is your love
I really need to learn
'cause we're living in a world of fools
Breaking us down
When they all should let us be
We belong to you and me